First time visitors to food banks talk about the struggle to make ends meet

By Sam Franks

BELLEVILLE – A recent Feed Ontario report says food banks saw a 38% increase in people using them between April 2022 and March 2023,

That means that increasingly there are more first time users of food banks.

Martha Gilbert, 60, is one of those people.

Gilbert says that in the past she’s had to use different food support systems to keep herself fed, but she says now that’s not even enough.  

Gilbert says she lived off soup and bread for 6-months.  

“It was hard. It’s your ego. Not that there’s anything degrading about it. It’s just like – why should I have to? I shouldn’t have to go to the food bank. I shouldn’t have to be in a position to go to the food bank, you know? I should not be in a financial situation that makes me have to go there.”

Gilbert is on Ontario Disability Support Program (ODSP) and receives a payment of just over $1,500 to live on a month.   

Gilberts rent is $1,800. She requires an apartment with an elevator for mobility purposes. 

“So, half the time I can’t afford to eat properly or sometimes at all and sometimes I can’t even go to the food bank because I can’t carry the food from the food bank to the car, and from the car to my apartment,” Gilbert told QNetNews. 

Gilbert is a four-time cancer survivor, currently dealing with tumours again and was recently diagnosed with congestive heart failure.   

Due to medical reasons, she has not been able to work.  

Gilbert says she’s grateful for the food support however she still has to go to the store to fill the gaps.  

“Groceries have gotten so expensive that you can’t afford to buy meat, you can’t afford to buy cheese, you can’t afford to buy butter, eggs are almost out of the question now too, anything pretty much is out of the question,” Gilbert said.  

Gilbert says she has been forced to make a decision between rent or food. She always chooses rent.  

“If we don’t pay the rent then – it’s harder to get caught up on rent than it is to get caught up on a weeks’ worth of groceries, right? So, we need somewhere to live, so you pay the rent,” Gilbert explained.  

Choosing between bills and groceries is a familiar situation to Ashley Perna, 41.  

“It was coming down between that grocery bill or the medication I needed to get better from the mental health leave. The food bank stepped in and was able to be there to make sure I didn’t have to sacrifice my meds,” Perna said.  

Perna first started using food banks in 2018 after she had to stop working due to medical reasons.  

Perna said the first time using the services was awful. 

“It was a little shameful. Not because I was in need of help but because I didn’t want to be judged for why I needed help,” Perna explained.  

“Whenever there’s that income verification that’s where it’s a shameful struggle because I just don’t want people to judge,” Perna said.  

Perna doesn’t qualify for the Ontario Student Assistance Program (OSAP) due to outstanding loans and had to stop working her full-time to attend school.  

She works with tutoring services at Loyalist, but knows when it’s time for her placement money will be tight again.  

“This year and last year, it’s been several times of ‘do I buy groceries or do I physically get to school?’” Perna said.  

Perna said she doesn’t frequently use these services, but as a single-mom in college, she always worries. 

“I sort of feel stuck. The program I’m in now has a really good earning potential when I’m done. If I can get a job as a paralegal right away, I will probably never actually have to worry about food insecurity again to be perfectly honest, but I know I will. And that’s the part that even if I do get out, it’s been such a pervasive part of my life that I can’t actually envision not worrying about it,” Perna explained.  

The repercussions of hunger are deeper than the stomach. According to a study by the University of Toronto, chronic hunger and food insecurity negatively impact mental health.  

The mental health effects of hunger can manifest in depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies.  

Some people like Kaitlyn Williams, 37, didn’t realize the toll food insecurity brings to her mental health.  

“You’re almost in survival mode,” Williams said.  

“People don’t realize the effect it has on their mental health, because I think they’re still in survival mode,” Williams explained.  

Williams is married and has three step-kids living in their home. She said because she wants to protect her children, she never thought about how her situation affects her mental health until she was asked.  

“I just used to go grocery shopping. Now I have to think about my future every time I have to buy groceries,” Williams said.  

Williams and her husband are considered middle-class with a combined income of over $130,000, before taxes. They still struggle, however, with keeping food on the table.  

“We’ve always had to juggle around being like okay we can be two days late on this bill because we are getting paid on this date. Instead of paying this bill on time, we’ll go spend the $200 on groceries so that the food can be there,” Williams said.  

Williams says because their household income is over $100,000 it can be difficult to explain their situation to older generations, or other people.

Williams said the first time she used a food bank, she drove by it three times before using the service.  

“It was really embarrassing because I knew that I was earning a wage that should be able to cover it,” Williams explained.  

She says it’s difficult raising children in a world that is incomparable to her upbringing.  

“My kids shouldn’t have to understand why I say no you can’t have milk if they want milk. Groceries are nowhere what they used to be. It’s hard to wrap your head around,” Williams said.  

The dread of going to the grocery store is a feeling Barbara Brooks, 54, knows too well.  

Brooks is a temporary user of food banks. In the winter her work hours are reduced. That means the food bank might become a regular thing.  

“You worry about everything under the sun. You worry about if the hydro’s going to be disconnected if you’re late for a payment. You’re worried about everything, everything you’re losing,” Brooks said.  

Brooks and her husband both work, however they only earn minimum wage.  

“We’re pay cheque to pay cheque again,” she said. 

Brooks is appreciative of the food bank but says they don’t have options for diabetics like they used to.  

“Being a diabetic, at the food bank, you don’t get the food supplies you need to be healthy. You have to end up sacrificing. I can barely have any of that stuff, it’s processed, it has more starch and sugars in it.,” Brooks said.

“Medication for me is $600 a month when you don’t have a plan. Sometimes I sacrifice taking my medication because we can’t afford it,” Brooks explained. 

Brooks told QNetNews about her upbringing. Brooks grew up Amish and learned to be resourceful in her youth. Her family still embraces the Amish lifestyle and helps Brooks out whenever they can.

“I keep it a secret from my family because my pride is kind of … they asked if we’re doing okay, but sometimes it’s not,” Brooks said.  

She finds that it can be embarrassing to admit that she needs help. She likes to take care of her family and does not want them to think she is weak.  

“We used to support each other with things, items, even money sometimes. When one of us is in a hardship the other one supports. It takes a village. That’s the way it used to be,” Brooks said.

Ashley Perna also had the same thoughts.

Perna explained that since her food insecurity is no longer a secret, the people who have helped support her are why she’s still able to pursue her education.

“It takes a village,” Perna said.

In 2022, Perna ran for city council in Kingston and believes more can be done at all levels of government.

“There is a will out there to be more helpful. Lawmakers and positions of power need to remove these barriers for help. I think that’s a huge thing and I think there needs to be more awareness that hunger can happen to literally anybody. It’s not everybody who’s using the food bank is a drug addict,” Perna said.