Family secret revealed after 29 years
BELLEVILLE – Four years after his mother’s death, a 21-year-old Loyalist College student’s life changed forever.
The student was born in Philadelphia and came to Canada when he was seven years old. He had a normal life, he told QNet News this week, although his father abandoned the family after his youngest sister was born. Then, when he was 17, his mother died after many years of health problems, leaving four children aged 14, 16, 17 and 27.
“Growing up without a dad was hard, but it’s not like I ever missed him or anything … My life was always normal without one,” said the student, who agreed to be interviewed on condition that he not be identified.
But his “normal” life changed over the 2015 Christmas holiday, when he received a letter from a 29-year-old woman living in Pennsylvania. The letter stated that she was the child who, 20 years before, his mother had given up for adoption. She said she now would like a relationship with her biological family.
The letter went on to explain that during the time the family lived in Philadelphia, before the student was born, the parents had split up and his mother had a baby – the writer of the letter – with another man.
“We didn’t believe it at first,” the student said. “But she hired a private investigator … and we did confirm that she was our sister.”
The student said he feels his mother had no option but to give the newborn up for adoption. The family was Irish Catholic, and having a baby outside of marriage was considered to be a disgrace.
“She was just trying to save my family,” he said. “Things must have been hard, because that could not have been an easy choice.”
The student has opened his arms to his new sister, but said his siblings are not yet prepared to do so.
His older brother decided “that he didn’t want a relationship with (the sister) because he believes that my mom did what she had to do and leave the past in the past. My little sisters were really close to my mom, so I think they are in denial about not being told the truth from her.”
He has kept in contact with his new sister with text messages and Facebook.
“I decided that this isn’t her fault. She is a piece of our mother and I would like to get to know her.”
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